wrap me in your marrow | stuff me in your bones

Thu, 11 May 2006 15:20:22 GMT

THIS LIVEJOURNAL IS LIKE 3 04291030921 321903903321 YEARS OLD

I MADE A NEW ONE BECAUSE I CAN

starting over.

beebones

add me if you wanna!

Tue, 02 May 2006 14:16:10 GMT

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 03:37:32 GMT

And if I could swim
I'd swim out to you in the ocean,
Swim out to where you were floating in the dark.
And if was blessed
I would walk on the water you're breathing,
To lend you some air for that
heaving
sunken
chest.
Because they chose you as the model
for their empty little dreams.
With your new head
and your legs spread
like a filthy magazine.
And they hunt you and they gut you
and you give in.
And if I was brave
I'd climb up to you on the mountain.
They led you to drink from their fountain spouting lies.
And I'd slay the horrible beast they commissioned
To steer me away from my mission to your eyes,
And I'd stand there
like a soldier
with my foot upon his chest.
With my grin spread
and my arms out
in my bloodstained Sunday's best,
And you'd hold me
I'd remind you
who you are under their shell.
I'd walk through hell for you.
Let it burn right through my shoes.
These soles are useless without you.
Let the torturing ensue. My soul is useless without you
And if they sent a whirlwind, I'd hug it like a harmless little tree.
Or an earthquake, I'd calm it, and I'd bring you back to me,
And I'd hold you in my weak arms like a first born.
Now, I've walked through hell for you,
what's an adventurer to do
but rest these feet at home with you

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 15:25:59 GMT

Then looking upwards
I strain my eyes and try
To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

sunshine, wind blown hair and cafe mocha frappuccinos please.

BODY PLEASE STOP BEING SICK

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 15:28:17 GMT

Create your own Music List @ HotFreeLayouts!

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 20:10:17 GMT

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Sat, 01 Apr 2006 04:07:50 GMT

There was once a prince, and he wanted a princess, but then she must be a real Princess. He travelled right around the world to find one, but there was always something wrong. There were plenty of princesses, but whether they were real princesses he had great difficulty in discovering; there was always something which was not quite right about them. So at last he had come home again, and he was very sad because he wanted a real princess so badly.

One evening there was a terrible storm; it thundered and lightninged and the rain poured down in torrents; indeed it was a fearful night.

In the middle of the storm somebody knocked at the town gate, and the old King himself sent to open it.

It was a princess who stood outside, but she was in a terrible state from the rain and the storm. The water streamed out of her hair and her clothes; it ran in at the top of her shoes and out at the heel, but she said that she was a real princess.

'Well we shall soon see if that is true,' thought the old Queen, but she said nothing. She went into the bedroom, took all the bed clothes off and laid a pea on the bedstead: then she took twenty mattresses and piled them on top of the pea, and then twenty feather beds on top of the mattresses. This was where the princess was to sleep that night. In the morning they asked her how she slept.

'Oh terribly bad!' said the princess. 'I have hardly closed my eyes the whole night! Heaven knows what was in the bed. I seemed to be lying upon some hard thing, and my whole body is black and blue this morning. It is terrible!'

They saw at once that she must be a real princess when she had felt the pea through twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds. Nobody but a real princess could have such a delicate skin.

So the prince took her to be his wife, for now he was sure that he had found a real princess

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 16:05:06 GMT

"I want to have underground fame, where hip people discuss me over chai tea."

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 13:37:57 GMT

live and learn.

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 02:41:26 GMT

i'll keep drowning myself in this if you keep ignoring my frantic hands.

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 13:44:57 GMT

Worst fucking sleep of my life.

1 more thing before i collapse in my bed

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 03:49:11 GMT

THIS IS THE MOST EVIL PUPPY EVER

dont be fooled.

+

florida was great, pictures soon.
i need a haircut.
japan this summer: a possiblity.
tomorrow night i might be going to sketch nude models?
friday means 1 year with my boyf and that makes me smile so much!

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 16:30:46 GMT

OOOOOOOOHHHH i could so use my own bed
and some tim hortens.
and some kisses from the boyf.

"YOU RUINED DINNER! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 06:04:57 GMT

my digital is staying together with tape.
shut it.
metric show was good. not as good as stars... but fucking good.
(islands and holy fuck are the coolest)

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 14:36:49 GMT

Ive always hated January and February.
peace to them.

I'm pumped for march. everything about it.

Florida for 11 days.
Parents going away to california for a week (= boyf/girlf sleepovers)
24th = one year with vik.
This friday = AMERICAN APPAREL BOOTY SHORTS SHOPPING with vik.
saturday = METRIC with viks sister and a few of my friends.

and in 2 more paychecks I'll have black extensions.

My diet is apples and green tea. I bought a new sketchbook last week, I haven't been able to stop using it. Lately it doesnt take much for me to get tired.

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 01:41:28 GMT

You get the car
I'll get the night off
You'll get the chance to take the world apart and figure out how it works
Don't let me know what you find out
I need a car
You need a guide
Who needs a map
If I don't die or worse I'm gonna need a nap
At best I'll be asleep when you get back
I wanna see it when you find out what comets, stars, and moons are all about
I wanna see their faces turn to backs of heads and slowly get smaller
I wanna see it now

I want specifics on the general idea
I wanna think what I should know
Want you to do me what to show
I wanna see movies of my dreams
I wanna see movies of my dreams
I wanna see movies of my dreams
I wanna see movies of my dreams
I wanna see it when you get stoned on a cloudy desert breezy afternoon
I wanna see it untame itself and break its owner
I wanna see it now
I wanna see it now

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 04:02:53 GMT

LIIIIVE THROUUUGH THISSS
and you won't
look
back.
Liiiveee through thissss
and you won't
look
back!
LIVEEE THROUGGHH THHIISSSS
and you wont
look
back!

THERES ONE THING I WANT TO SAY SO ILL BE BRAVE
YOU WERE WHAT I WANTED
I GAVE WHAT I GAVE
IM NTO SORRY I MET YOU
IM NOT SORRY ITS OVER
IM NOT SORRY THERES NOTHING TO SAY

Sat, 18 Feb 2006 18:51:29 GMT

Everytime you lie to me.
Wishes to fall into a simpler food chain.
I am the least suspected villain. I am the killer that no one can see. I grow into you and assume power through the worms in your stomach and heart. A cancer, a deficiency in your DNA. I stream through your body like a snake that you cannot cage. It is everything I wished to be, I observe all the love I strained to see. So many weeks and months spent in desperate attempts to rate myself a radioactive sight of the inside of you, I'm finally drowning in the plasma and blood to make myself so true. My rhyme filters in and out of coherency with the more alcohol I consume, the more smoke I suck into my lungs.
I'm so forward, and I'm so fucked up.
Sick down to my heart, that's just the way it goes... Don't rake up my mistakes, I know exactly what they are. And what do you do? Well, you just sit there. I've been stabbed in the back so many times. I don't have any skin but that's just the way it goes.

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 13:47:52 GMT

Don't walk into my knife

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 02:39:34 GMT

tonight we run buried beneath a citys cement history, dancing with the steam drain angels. and im not sure if its falling stars crashing or just someone starting fires around town, but it looks so fucking beautiful lit up like a goddamn birthday cake with you and i inside.

i'll take you across state lines away from the bills and the obligations. we'll swim in the clearest of lakes and dive into the warmest of nights. we'll watch every old movie and cherish every kiss. just please leave with me and i promise you there is nothing in this world like what we could become.

I'll wear your crown of sighs if you let the cross be your bed and the nails be the hardest coldest handcuffs. lets rewrite two thousand years of religious history with the movement of our hips. lets show these fuckers just how deep our sin can swim. a stab to the stomach can become a soft kiss, following a trail under your breast down to Bethlehem - somewhere purer than Christ. turn the lights down low. we'll mix words with drinks, mix tapes with tears, sex with violence. how many times do i have to remind you that the sun won't rise unless we tell it to? everything around us is ours : from the tallest mountain to the tiniest atom. in bedrooms across this land, a world of lust that turns just for you and me.

DON'T WORRY, DARLING!!WE BOTH KNOW THAT IM THE CRIMINAL IN THIS EPISODE.WE BOTH KNOW THA TI STOLE EVERY STUPID KISS AND THAT I ALMOST BROKE YOUR LUNGS. I DID GREAT IN SAYING ALL THE WRONG THINGS AND/OR NOT SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL. WHY WAS IT SO HOT INYOUR CAR? ITS YOU, OH ITS YOU. YOURE MY FEVER. and i don;t know what to think because i cant see inside your head. but from what i can see on the outside, i know that im gonna look like the aftermath of a knifefight everytime i see you smile. and everytime i catch that glance you give, my heart falls right to the floor so just watch where you're steppin when you're a hundred miles away.

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 02:52:17 GMT

tonight i may rise from ruin, but tonight i'll most likely fault and fracture. please love my jake bannon related puns, please love every word i type. - x - from stoned in the backseat to drunk on my bedroom floor. the scenario is headphones and ceiling tile. the scenario is me hating you. i make a promise to myself that if I'm not done by the end of this song, i'm going to put a fucking bullet in my head. these are the days that fall through our fingers. we forget and move on, but they play a part. rejecting kisses, ignoring love. i make a promise to myself that tomorrow i'll feel secure in the life i am living. i lie and cheat and steal. and the poetic epitaph and flowery gifts will ensue. another mourn for a moron. the mixtape i gave you is still in your backseat, under some garbage and pizza receipts. all i ever wanted from you was nothing. i keep some around to devour. words can touch you. everywhere. from under your breast to up your thigh. kisses up your spine but you've got sandpaper hands and a mind set on kill. i doubt everything i read, hear, feel. i doubt myself. "tighten up my necktie into a noose." no, it's not a big deal but i can feel that tide of honesty washing over me . that wave that causes me to tell you how you're not really that important to me and that i lied when i said you've got a cute whatever. in this society, in this lifetime, you have to be your own defense mechanism. you can't let the petty words of others get under your skin because once one person gets to you, you're opened up for the world to hurt. (a building on fire, an erupting volcano oozing beauty and perfection all across teenage timelines). my heart drives nightly, all through the backroads where the cops will never find us. I tell you, "add it up", and leave, sunk deep in memories of climbing for fireworks. we both know there's not much to separate us. we both know the inevitable conclusion coming. the summer is pure but the fall is fucked. penetration falls in and pulls the stars from the sky. it didn't stop you from letting me in. injecting my fears and insecurities all through you on that somewhat warm october night. heroin kisses and morphine skin, addicted at first sight. if i think more about this it'll get me in so much trouble so how about i just stop. ready to kiss, ready to fight. five bowls on the roof of a parking garage makes me invincible. you come close when you write a poem or paint a portrait. you come close when you swallow your tongue and punch yourself in the stomach. but you'll never be us, and here i am, ranting on and on. everything falls apart yet builds itself again within the span of a night. adolescent emotions seizuring all across my hardwood floor. please don't vomit on the rug, please don't mention my disease. okay, okay, let's try to think of something (someone) else. let's try to make a break in this paragraph because it's already literary wrong. okay. oky. ok. o. oh. let's forget every word i just said. let's rewind . the night is over but i'm dressed in it's violence, this is a position we've grown accustomed to through the years. this isn't worth it, not worth blood stains on my favorite t-shirt. not worth a break in this paragraph. and so i left you with the taste of my spit. (last words are no fun so i figure i'll just leave it at that. ) i am the uncontrolled, immortal. undefeatable, untouched. five coats of sarcasm painted across each wall. i keep content only because i'm sure that without me you'd rot. you'd be fucked. you're loveless, you're empty, and i don't think the ink stains you wake up to every morning will remind you of who you are. i pretend to say this book is closed. i pretend to think this slate is clean. i lie when i say goodnight. unwanted : feeding on my inner organs.
simple mathematics that not even a genius can understand (don't let people in, you won't get hurt).

Easy sleep.

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 04:58:57 GMT

It is better to burn out than to fade away. And the sun sets. Eject the tape. Label and file it chronologically into the row on the shelf of now frozen: fallen and former. Tonight I'll start a new mix with a tape so clean and void. It is my blank canvas of what is to come. It is my blank page, my blinking cursor.

♥

excerpt : drug induced renaissance

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 04:07:48 GMT

---------------
used bullets like words and I was left in the back of an ambulance with wounds burning like bonfires. I took the pin and I pushed it into the lowest notch of their spine and tried to concentrate but the magnet in my head brought me to their mouth and I pushed my teeth into their teeth. Thier mouth was so dry and this so isn't what I wanted, I didn't want to make you fall asleep so soon. I just can't help the fact that I was born into this world as a brushfire. I maim or kill everything I see.
----------------

Chuck Palahniuk

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 03:08:14 GMT

"The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open."

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 03:43:44 GMT